“Cheer up sleepy Jean, oh what can it mean to a daydream believer and a homecoming queen”
Before I begin to rant and ruminate, I couldn’t decide between keeping order and titling this something applicable. Now:
The illusion of choice. Deciding what would … ? In other thoughts, I’ve been ruminating on the nature of my friendship with Maclean and other friendships. The more I’ve thought about it, the more I realize one of the similarities that exist is we’re constantly searching to craft our own, independent vision of reality. Perhaps nothing but mere vanity, but I think of us in terms of visionaries. Sometimes, I view myself as crazy just because not everyone sees the world as I do, this animated realm where every object and being have lives and intricacies of their own. No one else witnessing this? Perhaps it is why I label myself an artist, a more palatable form of madness. I’ve more to say on that subject, but that is what my paper is for.
As for Maclean, Ricky, and myself (I’ve mentioned this very topic before, and I bring up these two because of the interest in the humanities, by proxy philosophy), there are difficulties in being a visionary, a crafter of reality. We know it won’t be readily palatable to everyone, there’s a select few one can let into the private realm one’s created. Ideally, I’d like for everyone to exist cohesively involved in a pure positive manner. Perhaps this only accounts for those I consider positive, but even those that contribute negatively crafty my vision of reality by what I would not like it to be. I’d even dare to say anyone with a dream, so long as one hopes, crafts a reality.
“Everyone dreams,” you may say, but not this kind of dreaming. Not the sleep induced dreaming or even simple fantasizing, but the kind of dreaming in a sense the way a craftsman draws up blueprints for the object he needs to craft. It is in this manner of dreaming I speak of, in an active sense that isn’t easily cast aside unless the possibilities of translating that dream into reality don’t exist yet. It can involve dreaming of relationships, goals in life, what to make for dinner; the essence being whatever one dreams about should inspire passion, a desire for life. Part of that essence involves crafting a personal philosophy, code of ethics, morals or what have you. I view this necessary as a sort of outline, building the frame for which one constructs their reality. My philosophy involves art, the difference between perception and ideal reality, and my purpose in being here. Not my complete philosophy, but part of the framework in crafting reality.
It is hard work to bring dreams into reality, which is why I dwell in fantasy so often. Passions are easily mistaken for insanity or other mental defects these days. When I stare off into space, sometimes I wonder if I appear to have left this realm. Slightly joking, but not really. I’m reminded of the song “Daydream Believers.” The point being on the process of creating. I know, and I suspect others with a visionary inclination know, that in order to create, one must withdraw into a different world, at a different level of consciousness.
In crafting the reality of a relationship, the idea of the honeymoon is necessary; not the actual honeymoon but that phase. Free from the input of the outside world, two can join to form a one even while existing as two. I like to think of the idea similar to atoms and molecules. Using hydrogen as an example, missing an electron in orbit, the atom isn’t stable until the two form H2 . As people, we are not complete until we find our other, part of the implicit social contract of entering humanity. The easiest bond to form once out of the family unit is a pairing, and from there change can be effected.
I think positive and negative forces (seen and unseen, physical and metaphysical, et al) also exist, that in turn mold people. We are but a reaction to the environment around us, yet we have choice in deciding how to react, whether positively or negatively, (neutral not being an option of the living.) Free will without psycho-actives – depressant or stimulant one will depress and one will elevate basic instincts, and one will simply explore within the realms of hallucinogens.
Psychedelics deal with this by providing a choice in how to react to the realities presented; one can have a negative experience, believing it will never end and will continue indefinitely in the case of positive feedback, or ironically and conversely, have a positive experience in knowing this is but one form of reality, knowing it will end due to the nature of negative feedback. The feedback ideas haven’t been hammered out just yet, but if I give my subconscious enough time it can work through many things. Then again, I’m simply trying to make sense of the crazy world around me through any means necessary.
In the case of my group of friends from Waterford, we have the interest of bettering people, or at least I’d like to hope. Perhaps this is only my goal, to mold potential into applied realities, and why I support people’s dreams as fiercely as I do. To not dream is a scary reality, on some level a complete declaration of mortality and no desire to leave some impression. My principle is everyone has some vision; everyone has some dream one wants to achieve. My vision is to be a positive force in the world, a catalyst for change. Sometimes I like to view myself as a muse and genie given free will, not bound by obligation but a conscious decision to serve. Then again, perhaps I’m merely delusional.