Noblesse Oblige: The Essence of Being Gay Pt. V

Tina and Blow

The first step towards vice is to shroud innocent actions in mystery, and whoever likes to conceal something sooner or later has reason to conceal it.Jean Jacques Rousseau (1712-1778)

 

Dear St. Sebatian and Ganymede,

I’ve no problems with drugs, really. At least responsible drug use. I personally prefer psychedelics. Some prefer stimulants. It’s not the drug use I have a problem with; instead rather the addictions. Or what the addictions seem to imply. I like to think drugs should only enhance, not replace. And shouldn’t be a reason to excuse but understand personal behavior.

No, what scares me is the escapism. We all escape with various addictions, whether sex, drugs, or rock and roll. But, the scary thing about escapism through drugs is that it prevents one from seeing exactly what one is escaping. An attempt to get outside of oneself, or to not feel, or to feel more. Whatever the reasons, seeking it only because it provides temporary pleasure only makes it harder to deal with the underlying problem. And, just like psychedelics, if you’re having a bad trip in life, you’re probably going to have a bad trip on whatever you’re taking. Maybe not initially, but as your body can tolerate the drug more and more, one eventually reach a point where running is no longer an option and you have to face reality.

Noblesse Oblige: The Essence of Being Gay Pt. IV

Craigslist

Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual.

The world is not to be divided into sheeps and goats. Not all things are black nor all things white. It is a fundamental of taxonomy that nature rarely deals with discrete categories. Only the human mind invents categories and tries to force facts into separated pigeon-holes. The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects. The sooner we learn this concerning human sexual behavior, the sooner we shall reach a sound understanding of the realities of sex.

Alfred Kinsey, Sexual Behaviour in the Human Male (1948)

Dear St. Sebatian and Ganymede,

Again, I write to you because these issues weigh heavily on my mind. Or rather, I figure you’d listen to me vent. Really, this is just a minor irritation with sex sites in general. I belong to several; what card-carrying member of The Gays doesn’t. And, I suppose, this irritation stems from the fact that there’s a sizable group of us actually in search of a relationship. You know, the whole Carrie Bradshaw/Charlotte McDonagull-Whomever/ insert every wistful relationship prone character. Wanting to have someone to introduce to friends and take to social events. Someone to make you feel a bit less “Wow is he alone” and more “He brought a plus one.” And then, there’s the inevitable itch thatneeds scratching and those sites are oh so handy.

You find, you meet, you hook-up; itch scratched. Don’t expect a call back or try and invite them anywhere. That was strictly no strings attached. For bisexual guys, I can understand no strings attached. For The Gays, this only means ‘Let me see how you are but still have the freedom to explore my options.’ We declare intentions of not wanting a hookup, and some take this as a challenge to see how chaste we really are. Then we declare intentions of being a dirty, naughty little boy in bed, and rumors circulate in various circles Gaylord Fuckles is a little slut. Or some variant.

Noblesse Oblige: The Essence of Being Gay Pt. III

Three can keep a secret if two are dead.
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

Dear St. Sebatian and Ganymede,

Why must so many black men insist on being down low. Actually, I already suspect some answers, but first I’ll need to vent and address those who are down low. You don’t fool anyone. It’s not an affront to your masculinity. Perhaps you don’t want being gay to define your life, or perhaps you’re not gay at all. Maybe you’re bisexual. Whatever the reasons, they’re rather selfish, in the fact that it isn’t just you who suffers. Especially those of you who fail to use protection. If you only had sex with men, then maybe it’d be understandable, at least from the perspective is it’s not going to fuck up their chances of having a baby. Most of The Gays don’t even want children, though a sizable minority do.

If you’re bisexual, at least have the balls to be open about it instead of hiding behind the mantle of The Gays. You and your secrecy give us all a bad name, and I’m tired of it. The blame doesn’t just fall to black men, though. There is a sizable population of white/other married men who seek fun on the internet. I’ve had a few encounters when I was younger, namely the year I turned 16. After the third encounter, though, it ate at me because I would hate to think of my spouse/lover/other cheating on me, much less with a women if I were in that position.

Noblesse Oblige: The Essence of Being Gay Pt. II

Le secret des grandes fortunes sans cause apparente est un crime oublié, parce qu’il a été proprement fait.

Honoré de Balzac

Dear St. Sebatian and Ganymede,

I write to you, slightly urgent, but not a problem I foresee going away anytime soon. I’ve but one question on a myriad of subjects: Tina/Drugs, Craigslist, and Down-Low “Brothas” being the prime targets. Why?

It appears that besides coveting girl’s jeans and what-not, there’s a darker aspect to being part of The Gays. Given, we’re a pretty glorious lot. We serve and wait in various restaurants and coffeeshops. We design and create great things of beauty for the world [see fashion designers, graphic designers, and pretty much designers and artists in general.] Yes, being part of The Gays is a lot like being born into money, royalty, or Upper Middle Class America.

And, of course, behind every fortune and dynasty lies a terrible crime. With what crime have The Gays been charged, you ask? We play both victim and perpetrator, and in essence we rob from ourselves. Hidden within our overly decorated palace, with quite possibly too much pink and fuzzy rooms, and past the numerous rooms where the trannies and man-ladies perform for each other on the stage lip syncing in the spotlight, lies not just a closet, but a basement full of taboos and unmentionables.

Noblesse Oblige: The Essence of Being Gay

Dear Wilde and Baudelaire,

I ran across some rather interesting information. Really, it was just one site hit under the question “what is the essence of being a Gay?” I dare to say this is a question that sums up my entire quest for knowledge, the summation of who am I under this social description. The question also arises as I enter the more contemplative aspect of my hermeticism.

The black-and-white, dualist answer? We are but our own ideal of being male, without context to women. In being gay, I think it is to explore what it is and means to be male. For me, there is a difference between being gay and being homosexual. Being homosexual describes my sex life, but being gay does not begin to define me nor would I readily use the word to describe myself. Publicly, yes I do have a rather lively persona, but again that is only the face “Patrique” puts on. More on alter egos in a second. However, since The Gays have become a handy term to describe us as a social sect, then I’ll continue to use it just as that. I’m phrasing the answer in context to what the essence is of my own existence as a homosexual. And the simple answer there is art. I believe that The Gays, in finding the difference between male and female, attempt to create and differentiate themselves from women. It is the ultimate sex battle, in a way declaring “I can do this without you.” This leads to Freudian/psychological boundaries, but I think at this point it’s probably important to bring in psychology, sociology, philosophy and art as well. Art, because it is a form of social commentary, and the –ologies as a way of explaining the art and the people who created it. Viewed in my head – psychology: philosophy :: sociology : art. I’ve never understood those things until now, but for some reason they make perfect sense.