He’s so heavy…

As school ends and the summer picks up, I thought I’d take a moment to say: before you end up:

Whichever way the test goes, you’ll be alright. As they say, knowing is half the battle.

Most people across the world who became infected with HIV last year were younger than age 25, an age group typically relied upon for a nation’s promise and productivity.

Young MSM [gay] are at high risk for HIV infection, but their risk factors and the prevention barriers they face differ from those of persons who become infected through heterosexual contact.

According to a CDC study of 5,589 MSM, 55% of young men (aged 15–22) did not let other people know they were sexually attracted to men. MSM who do not disclose their sexual orientation are less likely to seek HIV testing, so if they become infected, they are less likely to know it.

Further, because MSM who do not disclose their sexual orientation are likely to have 1 or more female sex partners, MSM who become infected may transmit the virus to women as well as to men. In a small study of African American MSM college students and nonstudents in North Carolina, the participants had sexual risk factors for HIV infection, and 20% had a female sex partner during the preceding 12 months

- CDC Fact Sheet

Sex is sex. And it is wonderful. Orgasmic even. Whether hetero, homo, pan, tran, a, bi or a frog.  Then again, so is eating nachos, covered in black beans, guacamole, sour cream and melted cheese from Moe’s followed by a cigarette. It’s science. Being on the down low, however, is not wonderful. Nor orgasmic. See: Pink Gay Elephants and Black Gay Skeletons. However, I’ll respect your choice to privacy if you’ll get tested.

Anyways, you can find out where to get tested here. If you happen to be at UGA, you can check out Health Promotions

$35 cash charge for the test and counseling
(Results in less than one hour)
*NO NEEDLES!

I remember the first few tests I took involved needles. God how I hate needles. Luckily they don’t involve them any more for testing.

Or, if you live in the Atlanta area you can check out AID ATLANTA. Take a friend. Don’t take a friend. Make a party out of it. Turn it into a festival. If you need someone to hold your hand, send me an email and I’ll come with. Chances are you’re fine. And while you’re there, don’t just settle for an HIV test. Get the full gamut. Syph, gonorrhea, herpes, and chlamydia.

Then, after you get the test, I say go dance. Shake the stress away.

Diatribes and Addendums: Allegiance and Loyalty …

I think this post is more of an addendum to a part in my Marie Antoinette post about allegiance.  She poses the question “Am I to be Austrian or the Dauphine of France?” she asks her ambassador, and he replies “You must be both.” Often, I’m faced with choosing sides of being black in a predominately white culture, and being gay in a black community.

Noblesse Oblige: The Essence of Being Gay Pt. V

Tina and Blow

The first step towards vice is to shroud innocent actions in mystery, and whoever likes to conceal something sooner or later has reason to conceal it.Jean Jacques Rousseau (1712-1778)

 

Dear St. Sebatian and Ganymede,

I’ve no problems with drugs, really. At least responsible drug use. I personally prefer psychedelics. Some prefer stimulants. It’s not the drug use I have a problem with; instead rather the addictions. Or what the addictions seem to imply. I like to think drugs should only enhance, not replace. And shouldn’t be a reason to excuse but understand personal behavior.

No, what scares me is the escapism. We all escape with various addictions, whether sex, drugs, or rock and roll. But, the scary thing about escapism through drugs is that it prevents one from seeing exactly what one is escaping. An attempt to get outside of oneself, or to not feel, or to feel more. Whatever the reasons, seeking it only because it provides temporary pleasure only makes it harder to deal with the underlying problem. And, just like psychedelics, if you’re having a bad trip in life, you’re probably going to have a bad trip on whatever you’re taking. Maybe not initially, but as your body can tolerate the drug more and more, one eventually reach a point where running is no longer an option and you have to face reality.

Noblesse Oblige: The Essence of Being Gay Pt. IV

Craigslist

Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual.

The world is not to be divided into sheeps and goats. Not all things are black nor all things white. It is a fundamental of taxonomy that nature rarely deals with discrete categories. Only the human mind invents categories and tries to force facts into separated pigeon-holes. The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects. The sooner we learn this concerning human sexual behavior, the sooner we shall reach a sound understanding of the realities of sex.

Alfred Kinsey, Sexual Behaviour in the Human Male (1948)

Dear St. Sebatian and Ganymede,

Again, I write to you because these issues weigh heavily on my mind. Or rather, I figure you’d listen to me vent. Really, this is just a minor irritation with sex sites in general. I belong to several; what card-carrying member of The Gays doesn’t. And, I suppose, this irritation stems from the fact that there’s a sizable group of us actually in search of a relationship. You know, the whole Carrie Bradshaw/Charlotte McDonagull-Whomever/ insert every wistful relationship prone character. Wanting to have someone to introduce to friends and take to social events. Someone to make you feel a bit less “Wow is he alone” and more “He brought a plus one.” And then, there’s the inevitable itch thatneeds scratching and those sites are oh so handy.

You find, you meet, you hook-up; itch scratched. Don’t expect a call back or try and invite them anywhere. That was strictly no strings attached. For bisexual guys, I can understand no strings attached. For The Gays, this only means ‘Let me see how you are but still have the freedom to explore my options.’ We declare intentions of not wanting a hookup, and some take this as a challenge to see how chaste we really are. Then we declare intentions of being a dirty, naughty little boy in bed, and rumors circulate in various circles Gaylord Fuckles is a little slut. Or some variant.

Noblesse Oblige: The Essence of Being Gay Pt. III

Three can keep a secret if two are dead.
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

Dear St. Sebatian and Ganymede,

Why must so many black men insist on being down low. Actually, I already suspect some answers, but first I’ll need to vent and address those who are down low. You don’t fool anyone. It’s not an affront to your masculinity. Perhaps you don’t want being gay to define your life, or perhaps you’re not gay at all. Maybe you’re bisexual. Whatever the reasons, they’re rather selfish, in the fact that it isn’t just you who suffers. Especially those of you who fail to use protection. If you only had sex with men, then maybe it’d be understandable, at least from the perspective is it’s not going to fuck up their chances of having a baby. Most of The Gays don’t even want children, though a sizable minority do.

If you’re bisexual, at least have the balls to be open about it instead of hiding behind the mantle of The Gays. You and your secrecy give us all a bad name, and I’m tired of it. The blame doesn’t just fall to black men, though. There is a sizable population of white/other married men who seek fun on the internet. I’ve had a few encounters when I was younger, namely the year I turned 16. After the third encounter, though, it ate at me because I would hate to think of my spouse/lover/other cheating on me, much less with a women if I were in that position.

You also do yourself a disservice by failing to be honest with yourself, and failing to be honest with your partner. If you’d like to sleep around, discuss it with your partner/spouse/whomever. They may say no, they may say yes. At least, don’t keep them in a dark because your down low actions also end up affecting them. Some people simply have a high sex drive, while others don’t. It’s the great spectrum of human diversity.

More importantly, it just irritates me. There’s nothing wrong with some no string sex, but after awhile it gets old, and if all you have left to look back on are a series of random encounters, who will remember your life once you’re gone. You can make your story just a bit more interesting. No need for a relationship, but leave a better impact on the world than being known as the next Typhoid Mary.

For black men, I guess a lot of the pressure is societal. The conscious collective of the black man as this hyper masculine being, who will stick his penis in anything that moves and has a high libido with an even larger and impressive foot size. Then, there’s pressure from the community where ‘queer’ behavior just isn’t accepted. To be gay in the black community borders on being excommunicated. The situation has become slightly better, as more black people move into middle class [While being in The Gays transcends classes, the highly religious or less educated typically aren’t as accepting of The Gays – namely rural areas and vast swatches of suburbia.] To be accepting of The Gays takes a lot of understanding of human nature and oneself. To understand human nature and oneself, one must have time to reflect, and time is a precious resource usually available to those more educated.

While my parents weren’t necessarily thrilled to find out I was gay, they didn’t condemn me. Also, my worst fear of them disowning me didn’t come true either. In fact, over the years they’ve become more and more supportive of me truly being comfortable with myself, especially around them. Then again, they hold college degrees and one master, and have traveled extensively. The same can be said of my uncle and aunt, who are also highly supportive and also hold various degrees. Would I tell the rest of my family? Probably not the older members, but my cousins I think would be more understanding. Who knows. Some people work better by showing, and others by telling. Not asking and not telling, however, is horrible to the essence of being.

Intro

Craigslist

Tina and Blow