Found on Craigslist …

These things pretty much write themselves. It’s like a daytime drama slowly unfolding over the course of a message board. I didn’t know sunbather’s could make such serious bank. $10 to $20 bucks an hour? Sign me up. Oh wait, you disqualify people if they’re black. And a guy. I enjoy the sun just as much as the next pale person wishing to darken their skin to achieve what I’ve been given naturally. Sorry, I’m a bit bitter. It’s been a rough week. But no, the perv comment is kind of right on.

Also, how does tanning not fit someone’s lifestyle. That needs a bit more clarification, because I’m sure money fits into everyone’s lifestyle.

Serious Sunbathers Needed ASAP (West Cobb/Paulding)

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Reply to: ********************
Date: 2009-06-25, 12:55PM EDT

Slender, professional WM is seeking ladies who love to tan and wouldn’t mind getting paid to sunbathe this summer. Strictly platonic sunbathing. No sexual activities. No photography. Not a job–a vacation. Motivation for this offer: Sunbathing can be a very boring (and dangerous) activity if done alone. I prefer not to go solo. Going solo has its rewards (able to concentrate on a book or puzzle or relax) but it also has its risks (falling asleep in the sun is the major one).

Location is a private home west of Atlanta off I-20 (just north of Douglasville). Photos of the sunbathing area are attached. Sunbathing takes place from 11am to 5pm daily, depending on favorable weather. Sunbathers can make from $10 to $20 per hour for up to six hours per day plus referrals. Referrals pay a bonus of $20 to both ladies but the referred lady must submit a swimsuit photo (and be approved) prior to arrival.

I am looking for open-minded slender to athletic, fit ladies who are actually capable of getting a tan. I prefer non-smokers (or at least be able to refrain from smoking while here). You must be at least 18 and have ID to prove your age, if requested. No kids or pets, please. No boyfriends, either.

Please send a recent personal swimsuit photo (links to modeling sites, FaceBook or MySpace are acceptable substitutes–links to dating websites are not). Please also send a good contact number including the best time to call and your tentative schedule (day and times you’re available to sunbathe).

Additional note: If you have a swimming pool that is private enough for nude sunbathing, I would be interested in either renting a space at your pool from time to time or setting up a barter arrangement (use of the pool in exchange for pool cleaning or lawn maintenance duties).

Found on Craigslist …

I had almost forgotten it was Friday, and time for

Between smoking cessation (because I’m not a quitter, quitters never prosper therefore I shall become a dabbler), job hunting, writing, and worrying about general anxiety (the medical acronym is GAD, almost as in ‘Egads I worry incessantly), I had almost forgotten about the little pleasure that has become searching through Craigslist in a fit of Schadenfreude. Or something similar. But enough about me.

Today I bring you someone with some very peculiar fetishes. I throw no stones. My house is made of glass. Except I put up curtains and blinds. And it gets awfully hot during the summer time.

Worthless dork looking for humiliation giant – 23 (Atlanta-Stockbridge)

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Reply to: *******************
Date: 2009-06-19, 1:00PM EDT

First of all I’m not looking for people who are not in to this kind of fun and people who just want to play games like alot of Craig’s Listers ! BE 4 REAL!

I’m looking for a guy with Stinky feet the bigger the better! That wants to walk ,rub,stomp and have me lick his feet.

Spitting / hocking lougys ,laughing belching and in my face ,chewing food and making me eat it, using my face as a chair and other hilarious humiliation is awesome as well !

I am 6.1 ,250 and biracial if you don’t like that don’t respond

I’m into white guys that are big but smaller is cool too I’m looking for ages 21-38 and

Face pics only!

And of course, there’s this:

diaper play – 21 (cumming)

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Reply to: ********************
Date: 2009-06-18, 9:34PM EDT

i am an adult baby and wish to be treated as such, i need a caretaker to participate whenever available

thanks

baby j

If you venture over to the Rants and Raves section, at least in Atlanta, it’s become an anti-Obama board. For some reason they use the word monkey a lot. But I’ll save that for another time. And last, lately Craigslist has been getting a bit poetic. Apparently there were a series of poems posted I happened to miss. Who says G/g-od(s), authorsm, artists and poets are dead? After the jump …

Found on Craigslist …

It’s time for the weekly Found on Craigslist. Today I bring you poetry. And the response that followed. Granted it’s a long poem, but one can only guess what he means by rubbing a cat with his hat. Cats don’t like hats. I tried. Dogs also don’t like being bound in sweaters :

Dr Seuss (aka rubbing your cat with my hat) – m4w

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Reply to: ********************
Date: 2009-06-12, 10:28AM EDT

Found on Craigslist …

Two for the price of one:

Blakes last night…bartender said I ws hot?? – m4m (atl)

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Reply to: ********************
Date: 2009-06-05, 11:56AM EDT

was at Blakes last night and I think that maybe a bartender whispered that he thought I was hot…not sure???

Lawrenceville Sexxxy Police Officer – w4m – 28 (Downtown L’ville)

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Reply to: *******************
Date: 2009-06-05, 5:52AM EDT

You were ticketing a green dodge stratus I think. You pulled them over to the side on 120 at the intersection where Domenicks Italian restaurant is.
It was around 8:00pm on June 4th. The lawrenceville pd cop car was #42. It was raining I had my window down at the red light. We made eye contact I smiled, you looked interested but serious & busy ticketing. You looked so good in the uniform but I really would have preferred seeing you out of it…

White cop, late 20s or early 30s, 5″8 or so

If this is you, get back to me.
If you know this cop – let him know, I think he’s sexy

More Found on Craigslist …

Normally, I have a policy against posting the reply address, but this one is just too ridiculous for words. The comment at the end is completely unnecessary. Seriously? Michelle is a beautiful lady. And Obama is quite the handsome man.  I don’t condone any behavior, but if you feel inclined to write him/her horrible letters, well I can’t stop you …

Monkeys as pets (Ron)

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Reply to: pers-fkb76-1174690106@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}
Date: 2009-05-16, 10:52PM EDT

You’re fucking nuts. I have known several people who have had monkeys as pets and all would never do it again for several reasons.Contrary to what you have heard, most women are scared of monkeys and will avoid you like the plague.Ditto for snakes, lizards, and parrots. A friendly medium sized, well groomed mutt works much better.Or a bear cub, but those are hard to get and they grow up to be real big. Monkeys are very smart and have lots of energy so you can imagine the chaos, especially when you are at work and he gets out of his cage. Monkeys are unpredictable and can flip out on you without warning. And acquiring and caring for a monkey isnt cheap. For proof. look how much obama is costing us and how much trouble he is. although watching his ugly, tree swinging wife peel bananas with her feet is rather entertaining.