Amy, Beggs and I happened to be sitting watching CNN (before coverage of the tragic Prince of Pop’s death) when this delightful interview appeared
To be fair, I gave the church the benefit of the doubt. In fact, when they mentioned Connecticut, I didn’t even think black people lived in there. Then as the video slowly revealed itself, I would have found it shocking if I wasn’t in the south. My father grew up in a pentecostal church where leaders thought they were Christ reincarnated. It was the definition of a cult. I went to my grandmother’s old church one time (service lasted ALL Sunday, and towards 3PM I was praying for a quick death). At any rate, I welcomed the rebuttal in the back of my mind. But then I started hoping “Please don’t be an ignorant black person, please don’t be an ignorant black person”
Shazam! Ignorance!
Shazam!
Lady, I’m proud you exorcised the ‘crack-head’ demon. I happen to like my ‘homosexual’ demon. Sitting there watching this unfold, all I could imagine was the producer in the CNN room saying “Keep her talking, you can’t make live TV like this anymore.”I honestly couldn’t figure out how the interviewer managed to keep a straight face, and continue to take her seriously. The three of us were laughing hysterically and predicting it would become an internet phenom, highlighting the ignorance of so many black churches.
Artist's rendition of the homosexual demon
She apparently has nothing against homosexuals who have the homosexual demon. It’s just homosexual demons aren’t allowed in her church. Nor ‘crack head demons’, ‘alcohol’ demons, or any other kind of demons.
As she kept on talking, I kept thinking to myself “This is why the world of PR was developed. People too close to the situation do a horrible job of explaining their viewpoints.” Or maybe the viewpoints are just horrible. It’s a toss-up. It is, however, endemic of a larger problem within the black population and their non-acceptance of homosexuals. The Gays. LGBQTIPA.
Call us what you will. Demons. Djinns. I collect epithets. And it’s one I don’t think can be solved, at least within this generation or the next 40 years. To do that would require more prominent gay black men and women coming out of the closet. Like Wanda Sykes and Kenneth Reeves. Celebrating authors like James Baldwin, Alice Walker, Lorraine Hansberry and Langston Hughes, not just for their contribution to the literary world world but celebrating the fact that they were gay or gay affliated. Being gay shouldn’t be the only defining characteristic, certainly too one dimensional. But it shouldn’t be dismissed either. It will also require for the black community to stop referring to homosexuality as a ‘demon’ that can be exorcised out of someone.
I try not to wear my homosexuality on my sleeve while skipping around waving a rainbow flag while doing rhytmic gymnastics to Cher, Madonna and Britney in lamé crotchless hotpants while sodomizing every male in sight.
Taking the stance that Missy Eliot took in reclaiming the word bitch, I’m proud to be a nigger and a faggot. I don’t like those words. Personally, I find them disgusting. But that’s not the worst you could call or do to me. Denying me rights to get married and be miserable like every other blissfully wedded couple while categorizing me with demons and pedophiles, that’s worse. And I try not to wear my homosexuality on my sleeve while skipping around waving a rainbow flag while doing rhytmic gymnastics to Cher, Madonna and Britney in lamé crotchless hotpants while sodomizing every male in sight screaming ” I heart the cock!.” Instead, I paint my toenails from time to time and don a pair of heels. But when I do, I do so proudly. Not to throw my sexuality in anyone’s face but simply as a form of self expression. I love me. It’s taken a long time to get to this point, and I don’t do this for the world (most of the time) but do this because I simply want to express myself.
Shoes I wish I owned
This weekend, in honor of Stonewall’s 40th anniversary, I will be donning a pair of snakeskin pumps (alas, not Christian Louboutin yet), dancing like there’s no tomorrow and reading poetry from the soul. Why. Because I can. It’s my own form of standing up to say it loud, not only am I black but queer, and proud.
Eh, I rant
So, in conclusion, I’m continuing to embrace my ‘homosexual’ demon. Personally, I don’t see it so much as a demon as a genius. But that’s another discussion, for Gay Exorcisms Pt. II.
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2 responses so far ↓
Mark Zamen // 2 July, 2009 at 7:58 pm |
A very good essay; honest, clever, entertaining, well written, and expressive of a serious message as well. I applaud your attitude and am happy that you are comfortable with who you are, in contrast to so many who cannot say the same. I refer to those gay men and women who are unable to accept themselves; I wrote about one of them in my recently released biographical novel, Broken Saint. It is based on my forty-year friendship with a gay man, and chronicles his internal and external struggles as he battles for acceptance (of himself and by others, including fellow Mormons). More information on the book is available at http://www.eloquentbooks.com/BrokenSaint.html.
Mark Zamen, author
Patrique Vosges // 3 July, 2009 at 11:24 am |
Dear Mark,
Thank you for the applaud of support. I’ve known I was ‘different’ from the moment I faced a decision between my mother buying me an ‘awesome’ digital watch and the Little Mermaid at the age of 4. Possibly three. I didn’t know I was gay. I just knew I would die without possessing the Little Mermaid. Your novel sounds interesting, and I’m adding it to my July reading list. Again, thanks.
Patrique