Pink Elephants and Black Gay Skeletons…

So I ran across this while seeing what the deal was on Hurricane Ike:

Detailed Study on Spread of H.I.V. in U.S.

By GARDINER HARRIS

An unusually detailed study of people newly infected with H.I.V. in the United States has confirmed that the majority of new cases occur among gay and bisexual men and that blacks are most at risk. But the data show that whites and blacks tend to be infected at different times in their lives with the virus that causes AIDS.

Most new infections of white gay and bisexual men occur when the men are in their 30s and 40s, the study found, while black gay and bisexual men are more likely to be infected in their teens and 20s. The results were reported on Thursday by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

New York Times

Being a card carrying member of The Gays is all shits and giggles, unicorns and butterflies and whatnot. We all know Trannies shit glitter (god bless ‘em) And then there’s the sobering reality of what it means to be a member of The Gays. I think, with the dismal record of Government assisting those with HIV, and The Gays in general, we’re pretty much owed equal marriage rights. There is a rampant, raging Pink Elephant who is quite belligerent and demands attention lest he break all the china (At some point he hooked up with the Red Bull and went to a china shop) As seconded by Dr. Fenton:

Dr. Kevin Fenton of the C.D.C. said the study’s(sic) findings served “as a powerful reminder that the U.S. epidemic of H.I.V. disease is far from over.”

It’s also ironic, perhaps serendipitous is more correct, that I ran across this article the day I finish doing research on a sex site for those who practice safe sex, are positive, or are out.(Preliminary reports suggest ~60% practice safe sex, ~1% reported being positive, and ~23% don’t know their status.) I can’t remember what my profile says. Anyways, the article continues:

The C.D.C. reported last month that the study found that the virus was spreading faster in the United States than had been thought. In 2006, the study found, 56,300 people were newly infected with H.I.V. — 40 percent more than the agency’s previous estimate of roughly 40,000 new cases a year. The study was performed using new technology that allowed researchers to distinguish between new and older infections.

As a black gay male, I should find this article especially depressing. Le sigh. Then again, HIV is nothing new to my family. HIV has been a part of my life since I was ten years old, and my dad had to fly back from Korea to go to my Uncle John’s funeral. Cause: Advanced HIV/AIDS. Or my mothers cousin who died this year. Cause: Advanced HIV/AIDS. Or the fact that I too wear a scarlet letter, and have only recently begun to address the pink elephant sitting in my closet with black gay skeletons.The point being, although no one ever discusses how my Uncle John died, everyone knows. Or at least has their suspicions. It’s a dirty little secret like those underwear with skid marks you want absolutely no one to see.

I understand why homosexuality is an issue in the black community. As of yet, one cannot be black and be gay. I reasoned it to be that In the world of minorities, there is strength in numbers. But it frustrates me, because I feel it’s critical for the Black community to fully address this issue instead of staring the Pink elephant in the face. There’s also the need to address absentee fathers and high teen pregnancy rates, and we’ll get to those elephants soon enough. Hopefully the next president will address it, but even then we need communities to stand up and say “Get tested!” Black churches especially should be ashamed. They could run testing drives , pastors could go get tested with their congregation, anything that’s more visible to the community. And we all know how pivotal churches are in the Black Community. By the end of this year, I will make my own contribution.

Barack Obama went with his wife Michelle publicly and got tested together. The CDC said it provided an example for people to follow, to go get tested together. Personally, I think people should make it into a party. I mean HIV is depressing enough, but it isn’t the disease it once was. Now it’s classified as a chronic medical condition, with medication that significantly reduces viral loads and isn’t as toxic as the antivirals that originally came out. Still, it’s critical for black men to not feel homosexuality is an assault on their masculinity. I detest ignorance. When I came out to my brother (it kind of came out angrily in a phone call he made to me on New Years threatening suicide, but we’ll get to that later) his first question was ‘So did you have those feelings for me at any point?’ I seriously wanted to tell him to get over himself and his ego. Education and exposure, but I digress.

My first instinct was to pin some of this on downlow men. Both black and white (it is not just a black thing.) But it goes both ways. I’m naive enough to believe that the problem can be solved with love. Acceptance from one’s family. And acceptance in part from The Gays that that acceptance we so desperately crave comes slowly as our family changes their perception of who we are. And, the acceptance that that acceptance may never come in the way we want it. The old adage just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, and what have you.

Not to trivialize HIV/AIDS. But if we don’t talk about it, then it remains a pink elephant dancing with black gay skeletons in the closet. So, that is my one request to all of The Gays out there. Get tested. Even if you’re not a member of The Gays, get tested. I’ll still love you no matter what the results. And get tested at the least once a year, if not twice. Le Sigh. It’s like screaming Baudelaire or Voltaire at a twink; there are no sounds in a vacuum. I’ll get off my soapbox now.

Signed,

Patrique

P.S. – My soul/spirit is restless. There is some crazy energy in the air, and I can’t place my finger on it. I’ve been excessively anxious and sleepless for the past couple of nights. Usually this is a sign of approaching change, great change at that if I’m feeling this anxious. I had to follow the Moon’s advice and take a hot bubble bath with one cup of baking soda and one cup of salt. I did feel extra buoyant. But I digress. Til the next letter, mon cher.